For those of you who regularly hang out here, you'll remember the title of the last TAN, "Football's Back Baby!". Just 4 short weeks later, our season is already over.
Five years ago, almost to the day, the Wall Street Journal published an article titled Is Your NFL Season Already Over? A Quiz. I thought it might be a good time to take a look and see if our season is indeed over. Sadly, with a few edits, I can say it is. I have only included the most relevant questions; no need for us to be more depressed than we already are:
1. You're a
Dolphins Jets fan.
2. Sunday mornings now feel worse than Monday mornings.
3. Your fantasy team now is the second-most depressing team in your life.
4. You watch the
Patriots Chiefs or the Packers Ravens and it's as if they are from another planet, playing an altogether different sport.
5. You watch your NFL team play and it doesn't look like they're even playing football. It looks as if they're wandering around a cornfield looking for somebody's keys.
13. You don't mind all the DraftKings and FanDuel commercials; at least your team can't surrender points during the break. Oh wow, they just did.
14. At the start of the fourth quarter, you now turn the channel to a nice documentary about rabbits.
15. After the game is over, you sadly rake leaves dressed in your official team Slanket. You look across the street, and the neighbor is also sadly raking leaves in an official team Slanket.
16. When you went to the therapist this week, you spent two minutes talking about your marriage and 43 minutes talking about
Andrew Luck Sam Darnold.
18. When you tried to give a pair of
Kansas City Chiefs New York Jets tickets away at work, you got a stern talking-to from human resources.
19. You announce to friends and family that you are now available for Sunday afternoon activities of all kinds. Kids want to go apple picking? Great. Let's go now. Friend from work is moving? Perfect. Let me carry that crate of vinyl LPs. Spend five hours shopping for a new bedroom set at IKEA? Sounds glorious. I am in!
20. Shopping at IKEA turns out to be far more fun than your typical NFL Sunday.
21. You're no longer furious about your Cousin Ed's wedding in November. Last June when the invitation came, and it said "November 15," you couldn't contain your rage. Is that a Sunday? Who has a wedding on an NFL Sunday? Is that even legal? Now you are absolutely thrilled to spend a Sunday with Cousin Ed. Cousin Ed, let me buy you a bourbon and a Slanket.
23. You come across your team playing on television, see that they are winning, and then realize it's a repeat from
1993 2010 on NFL Classic.
24. You've lost 6 pounds on the NFL Sadness Diet. Which just means you're eating less guacamole and chips and going for a long walk instead of watching the second half.
Jets Browns fans are looking down their noses at you. Jets Browns fans!
28. You wouldn't mind if the baseball playoffs went until Christmas.
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