I'm sorry I took so long to post a new TAN but I died last week. Yeah, I know. I was just as surprised as you are.

My sister called the undertaker and asked if they'd come and pick up my body. The undertaker said, "Certainly. Could you give us your address?" She told them, " 136 Eucalyptus Boulevard." He asked, "Could you spell that?" She paused for a moment and said, "How about if I drag his body over to Maple?"

Once all that got sorted out, the funeral itself, was pretty nice. They dressed me up in my best suit. It was the one I bought for going to other people's funerals so I was happy to get some extra mileage out of it.

Anyway, before I ascend to Heaven (Or am I descending? I never did have a very good sense of direction) I'd like to leave you all with some sound advice that my father once passed onto me.. Don't get killed.

And here's some more advice.

1) No politics, no personal attacks, no excessive swearing, no porn, no graphic violence/ gore.

2) The moderators have ultimate, mind boggling authority. If any of the moderators or editors say drop it, let it go. Please don't argue. It won't end well.

3) If there is a problem email MacGregor Wells at macgregorwells@gmail.com and we'll try to work things out.

Here's Andy Breckman. He was one of the writers on Seinfeld and the series creator of Monk.