Sam I Am

Ruminations on the Jets’ QB plan. With apologies to Theodore Geisel:

I am Sam. Sam-I-am

That Sam-I-am! That Sam-I-am! I do not like that Sam-I-am!

Do you like our QB plan?

I do not like it, Sam-I-am. I do not like our QB plan.

Would you like it here or there?

I would not like it here or there. I would not like it anywhere. I do not like our QB plan. I do

not like it, Sam-I-am.

Would you like it with McCown? Would you like it on 3rd down?

I do not like it with McCown. I do not like it on 3rd down. I do not like it here or there. I do

not like it anywhere. I do not like our QB plan. I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Would you like it with Teddy B? Throwing one or two TDs?

Not with McCown. Not on 3rd down. Not with Teddy B. Not throwing one or two TDs. I do

not like it here or there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like our QB plan. I do not like it,

Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you? With someone new? Try it! Try it! I’ll grow on you.

I would not, could not, with someone new.

You may like it. You will see. You may like it, when it is me!

I would not, could not, don’t you see? Same Old Jets, new bad QB. I do not like it with

McCown. I do not like it on 3rd down. I do not like it with Teddy B., throwing one or two

TDs. I do not want somebody new. Not even if that someone is you. I do not like it here or

there. I do not like it anywhere. I do not like our QB plan. I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Say! Here in MetLife? Here in MetLife! Would you, could you, here in MetLife?

I would not, could not, in MetLife. A place filled with failures rife.

Would you, could you, as a fan? Could you, would you, call me the Man?

I would not, could not, as a fan. I could not, would not, call you the Man. Not in MetLife.

Not with McCown. Not on 3rd down. Not with Teddy B, throwing one or two TDs. I do not

want somebody new. Even if that someone is you. I do not like it here or there. I do not like

it anywhere! I do not like our QB plan. I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

You do not like our QB plan?

I do not like it, Sam-I-am!

Could you, would you, with the GOAT?

The GOAT?! The GOAT?! The Jets could not, would not, have the GOAT!

Would you, could you, on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat. The Jets would not, could not, have the GOAT. I would

not, could not, as a fan. I could not, would not, call you the Man. Not in MetLife. Not with

McCown. Not on 3rd down. Not with Teddy B, throwing one or two TDs. I do not want

somebody new. Even if that someone is you. I do not like our QB Plan. I do not like it here or

there. I do not like it anywhere! I do not like our QB plan. I do not like it, Sam-I-am!

You do not like it. So you say. Try me! Try me! And you may. Try me and you may, I say.

Sam! If you will let me be, I will try you. Then you will see.

(Watches Sam-I-am light it up)

Say! I like our QB plan! I do! I like it, Sam-I-am!

And I do like you! I do so like it as a fan. I will so call you the Man. I will like it in MetLife.

It will end all Jets fans’ strife. I really like somebody new. Especially when someone is you!

I will like you here and there. I will like you everywhere! You make us Jets fans full of glee.

You are so good, so good, you see! Thank you! Thank you,

Sam-I-am! I do so like our QB plan!