Jets at Dolphins Game Preview

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Since 1974, the Miami Dolphins most prolific moments were playing a critical supporting role in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and the resurgence of Larry Csonka's acting career, as well of the liberal mentioning of his name in MST3K episode The Final Sacrifice. In the 70's, Csonka committed the greatest transgression possible against Jets and SBN sports fans alike; he endorsed Schick razors over Gillette.

Csonk' needs a date.

Sources are reporting this is in fact not Larry Csonka, but rather was cloned from his neck fat.

Since 1968, the Jets most prolific accomplishments include their former star-QB drunkenly trying to make out with a reporter on the sidelines, and losing critical games to the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Jets are the Val Kilmer in Top Gun of the NFL. Actually, they're more like that guy that breaks his neck ejecting from the plane. With a looming 3-13 or 4-12 season just about in the books, this Monday figures to be blacker than my walnut-sized, pumping-cholesterol-like-play-doh heart.

Where Each Team Is

The Dolphins are 8-7 after a narrow victory over the Minnesota Vikings that could not save their season. The teal and orange porpoises racked up too many critical losses in a crowded playoff race. In spite of a few winning efforts this year, the Jets were never even in it, and to many this was painfully obvious from the onset of the preseason when the wheels started coming off John Idzik's wagon before they even started moving. Miami head coach Joe Philbin is safe for next year, while Rex Ryan has already cleaned his desk out and the general managers seat is reportedly getting hotter by the minute.

Neither team is making the playoffs. Nothing will be determined except some future contracts and draft positioning in 2015. AARP meetings in Southern Florida will probably get higher attendance figures.

I generally reject masculine stereotypes, but why the heck would you call your team the Dolphins and not the Sharks? One communicates strength and ferocity, while the other nominal intelligence and an aptitude for working with autistic children as a therapy animal. Besides, it would totally complement the West Side Story thing we got going on here. Call me, Serena and Venus. We can make great things happen.

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Jets vs Dolphins coverage

Sister Site: The Phinsider

Location: Sun Life Stadium; Miami Gardens, FL.

Field: Open air, artificial turf.

Coverage: CBS. Come for the daytime football, stay for the second half of 60 Minutes and some procedural drama spinoffs.

Weather: Partly sunny with a high in the low 80s.

Record: Jets lead the all-time 50-47-1.

What happened last time? The Dolphins beat the Jets earlier this month by a score of 16-13. They were favored by 4.

Who is favored? Dolphins by 6 on the opening line.

Injuries

Jets

Name	Position	Injury	Practice Status	Game Status
Dawan Landry	S	Illness	Did Not Participate In Practice	Questionable
Damon Harrison	DT	Illness	Did Not Participate In Practice	Questionable
Chris Ivory	RB	Hamstring	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Nick Folk	K	right Hip	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Willie Colon	G	Knee	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Jaiquawn Jarrett	S	Shoulder	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable
Antonio Allen	S	Hand	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Rontez Miles	S	Shin	Did Not Participate In Practice	Out
Nick Mangold	C	Ankle	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable
Chris Johnson	RB	Knee	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Muhammad Wilkerson	DE	Toe	Did Not Participate In Practice	Questionable
Percy Harvin	WR	Ankle	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable
Darrin Walls	CB	Shoulder	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable

Dolphins

Name	Position	Injury	Practice Status	Game Status
Charles Clay	TE	Hamstring	Limited Participation in Practice	Probable
Earl Mitchell	DT	Back	Limited Participation in Practice	Probable
Jelani Jenkins	LB	Foot	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable
Derrick Shelby	DE	Ankle	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable
Cortland Finnegan	CB	Ankle	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Jonathan Freeny	LB	Hamstring	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Don Jones	S	Shoulder	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Mike Wallace	WR	Back	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Daniel Thomas	RB	Knee	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Jared Odrick	DT	Ankle	Limited Participation in Practice	Probable
Koa Misi	LB	Hamstring	Full Participation in Practice	Probable
Dallas Thomas	G	Foot	Limited Participation in Practice	Questionable

Rankings

Jets: On offense the Jets are 29th in points scored, 27th in overall yards on average, 32nd in passing yards and 3rd in rushing yards. The Jets have been the bottom ranked passing team almost every week of the 2014-15 NFL season. No team can ever succeed with this sort of performance, no matter how effective their running game is.

On defense the Jets are 24th in points allowed, 6th in overall yards allowed, 15th in passing defense, and 5th in rushing defense. That the Jets are exactly dead-center in terms of average pass defense with the secondary that John Idzik assembled is nothing short of proof of Rex Ryan's abilities in coaching up a defense. Ryan is headed for the door either way and he is woefully incomplete as a head coach, but anybody who says that Rex Ryan is anything short of an innovative and talented defensive coach is a moron who hasn't the slightest clue what they are talking about.

Dolphins: On offense the Dolphins are 12th in points scored, 16th in overall yards, 15th in passing yards; and 14th in rushing yards. The Dolphins are pretty much the definition of mediocre on offense, which is worlds better than anything the Jets have done this year. Even with an average offense, the Dolphins have proven to be the much better contracted team in 2014, especially when you consider the similarity of schedules.

On defense the Dolphins 17th in points allowed, 8th in overall yards allowed, 4th against the pass, and 24th against the run. It's highly unlikely that the Jets completely inept passing offense will be able to move the ball through the air against a top-5 secondary, regardless of who is under center. The only thing that bodes well for the Jets is Miami's relatively poor effort defending against the run this season.

AP Pro Ranking has the Jets at 29th overall, and the Dolphins are ranked 17th.

Attacking the Dolphins

The only way the Jets will beat the Dolphins is if Chris Ivory and Chris Johnson effectively and consistently move the chains. The Dolphins are not great against the run. Geno Smith will likely pull the ball down and run when his receivers are well covered. If the Dolphins put a spy on Smith, it could be a very long day for Gang Green.

In their last meeting, the Jets ran for nearly 300 yards, but it was still not enough to put away the Dolphins. Jarvis Landry was the most productive Dolphin, while Lamar Miller had the only touchdown score of the day. The game was largely a duel between Nick Folk and Caleb Sturgis.

Dolphins to Watch

For a fee, you can swim with them in the Bahamas.

Besides Miler and Landry, Mike Wallace and Charles Clay have quietly built up productive seasons in support of an erratic offense under Ryan Tannehill. Brian Hartline poses a scoring threat. 9 different players have touchdowns on offense for the Dolphins this year. Tannehill has distributed the ball effectively in the red zone, although Wallace and Landry combine to account for 15 of the teams 26 offensive touchdowns.

Cameron Wake continues his monster season with 11.5 sacks and 3 forced fumbles. Olivier Vernon has 6.5 sacks and two forced fumbles on the year. Brent Grimes has an overwhelming 5 interceptions for 80 yards and a touchdown. Reshad Jones has 3 picks on the season.

Bottom Line

The Jets have nothing to gain from a victory. No jobs will be saved and no legacy will be protected. This season is in the bag, and it has been since October. Heck, the season has probably been over since August when you really think about it. I don't think the Jets are quite as awful as their record, but they are pretty dang bad. The 2014 Miami Dolphins are a better team than New York and by most measures they should defeat Gang Green capably. But the Jets are that team that defies the odds and wins pointless games in forgone seasons where they are the underdogs.

I sympathize with this. Lay down for nobody and leave nothing behind. I remember my first turn in adult lockup at the ripe age of 16 (excellent work as always, NYS legislators!) getting beaten within a millimeter of my worthless, degenerate life. Outnumbered 6 to 1, I recall very little but getting up over and over again against the warnings and promises of worse to come from my assailants. But every scar and shifted tooth and broken nose beat the heck out of the alternative, that being lying on the floor submission. Respect yourself, stand back up, and give some of that hurt back to those trying to give it to you. Never make it easy for them to get past you, just because it's easier for you that way.

Expect the worst, hope for the best. The best in this case being playing spoiler (of nothing) to the Miami freaking Dolphins and ending their season on a sour note. It's the little things, really.

So ends my tenure covering previews (and everything else) for Gang Green Nation. If you would like to be considered for a staff position or to write GGN game previews next season, please contact the editors in the masthead with submissions of work samples. Thank you very much for letting me into your computers and homes to talk football with you. It has been a pleasure.