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Ten Commandments for NFL Fans During the Offseason

Depending on what the Jets do with him, Darrelle Revis will either be the most valuable defensive player in the league or overpaid and overrated.
Depending on what the Jets do with him, Darrelle Revis will either be the most valuable defensive player in the league or overpaid and overrated.
The Star-Ledger-US PRESSWIRE

It's the offseason. We are getting close to free agency, trades, and the Draft. Some of you might be new to the game so here are some basic pointers for breaking down the offseason. These aren't just rules for Jets fans. Fans of every team adhere to them religiously. Make sure you always find yourself adhering to them.

1. The media is shamelessly biased against your team, especially ESPN. Even worse, the media loves your team's most bitter rival. This is the most important rule of NFL fandom. Never forget it.

2. The new general manager, head coach, coordinator, position coach, or waterboy will definitely fix all of your team's problems because he is a polar opposite of the guy he is replacing. Pick one phrase from that guy's introductory press conference. That catchphrase fully summarizes your team's new philosophy and explains how the new guy will do everything right.

3. If that new guy has a less than stellar resume, it isn't cause for concern. His failure at his last stop wasn't really his fault at all. He was held back by something, whether it be an owner who didn't spend, a GM who didn't get good players, or a dumb head coach. Use some pedestrian statistic to make your point. If the new guy could produce even that in such terrible circumstances, he's going to be great with the new team.

4. Every free agent signing your team makes is a brilliant, brilliant move. The player your team signed is just ready to break out. He just wasn't used correctly with his old team.

5. No player your team lost is any great loss. He was a product of the system and overpaid anyway. Your team will easily replace him.

6. Every single Draft pick your team makes will turn into a superstar from round one to round seven. The potential is just through the roof. This is the best Draft your team had in a long time. Anybody who cannot see this is an idiot.

7. Every previously underachieving player is set to have a breakout year. Things are just clicking in OTA's in a way they haven't before. They either really have a grasp for the system for the first time or the new system is so much better for them that it isn't even funny.

8. Similarly, everybody who had a bad year last year is set to have a bounceback year. They are in the best shape of their careers. They are motivated to come back in a big way. Whatever on field/off field issue that bogged them last year is now happily resolved.

9. Any weakness your team doesn't address is no big deal. The current player in that position who has been bad is suddenly going to get better because of the new system/new coach/magic. Even if he doesn't, that guy isn't going to drag your team down like he did last year just because you say so. It really wasn't that big of a weakness anyway. People made too much of it. It wasn't really that bad.

10. The media doesn't know what its talking about. All the moves your rival teams made were terrible. None of their free agents will help them, and all of their Draft picks are going to be megabusts. It is going to be so, so sweet when your team proves all the doubters wrong and goes all the way, especially those (insert name of most bitter rival) lovers at ESPN!