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Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson Goes Out With Darrelle Revis, Gets Peed On.

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This title may be a bit deceiving, as the first occurrence is largely independent from the second. Sorry if you had your hopes up.

I have to admit, when I read a Lion urinated on Chad Johnson at a charity event in Miami widely attended by NFL players, I figured I would next be reading about Ndamukong Suh being charged with drunk and disorderly and battery. Not the case, as apparently the big cat from Africa was to blame.

Chad was on the town with his fiancée and long-standing conference rival Darrelle Revis when large adult male lion apparently decided he didn't care much for Johnson and his 15 catch performance this year, or his Spanish-mangling name-changing ways. The large feline took aim at Chad's face and sprayed him with urine. Apparently the Lion was not interested in marking Chad's woman or Revis Island as his territory, just the aging receiver who still hasn't changed his dumb name back after promising to several times.

As anyone would react, Johnson forwent bathing and took his story immediately to twitter. Watch him go through the seven stages of grief in a very public manner below.

"Swear to lil 10 pound bearded baby Jesus I just got peed on by a real 'Lion' I'm not lying either. And y'all wonder why I don't go out!!!!!"

"I put that on my LIFE it just happen, i'm not lying."

"No i'm serious, ask @evelynlozda or @revis24 RT @TylerCosta2 @ochocicno tweet a pic of the lion AND the pee..then we will believe you"

"It's not funny i have on my good church clothes"

"I wasn't that close, he sprayed like a water gun"

"I can't believe some of you find such a horrific and emotionally draining accident so funny. I'm disgusted at all of you who laughed."

"I never go out at night n the night I do I get peed on by a real 'Lion' I feel honored, who can say they got peed on by a 'Lion'".

Probably half of the hookers in Detroit.

I love these feel-good stories.