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Douglas Morrison: Wanted Dead or Alive

Help me mock Douglas Morrison mercilessly.

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I know of this man, and I guess he's only a "man" in the technical sense, named Douglas Morrison. He's a writer for Turf Show Times, but he's not a very good writer, unfortunately. Let me put it this way... Dougie is the guy that first thought Fifty Shades of Grey was a good idea. In any case, I made a bet with Dougie, as I did with Kevin Nogle of The Phinsider, on who would win this upcoming game between the New York Jets and the St. Louis Rams. I, obviously selected the New York Tebows. Basically, the bet is the winner gets to choose the loser's signature for one (1) calendar week following the game. As long as it's not foul or profane, anything goes. Dougie wrote a mediocre article here where you can read more about it, if terrible writing is your sort of thing.

Please comment here with any suggestions for what you think Dougie's signature should be once the Rams inevitably lose on Sunday. Rec the ones that you think are the best. Please make fun of Dougie, his book, TST, or the Rams in general. I encourage you to use Tebow as your a punchline to denigrate Dougie's manhood. Whatever you guys want. I'll make the final selection as to which one Dougie must use, but let me know what you would really, really like to see.

P.S. Dougie wrote a book, which you can buy here. As far as I can tell, it's a political version of Fifty Shades.