King James. All-Day Adrian Peterson. What do the greats have in common? Great nicknames. Unfortunately, the nicknames of athletes today are weak as can be. Today, we're going to change that.
There will be a Sunday game thread later in the day to give you all a place to chat, but for now, I want to keep the theme of light-hearted topics going. Today I want to discuss a topic brought up in one of our threads; player nicknames. These nicknames are what I have seen online as player's current nicknames or what I believe would be a good fit. At the end of each player, I have listed my favorite in bold. This list is not fully comprehensive, but simply a start. This is a collaborative effort, so I need your help as well. As always, please let us know in the comments what you think we ought to call our beloved Jets. Let's take the jump!
Mark Sanchez - Marky Mark. Sanchito. The Sanchize.
Mark Brunell - Sanchez calls him Bru. I call him Graybeard.
Shonn Greene - One of my favorite nicknames, in college he was called War Machine.
LaDainian Tomlinson - Some people reserve LT for Lawrence Taylor and call Tomlinson LDT. I think our LT helped redefine the RB position in much the same way the original LT did the linebacker spot. Speed and raw emotion kills. I vote LT.
Joe McKnight - Joey Mac seems to be the most popular here. I'm not a huge fan of it, just because I think we can do better.
John Conner - No-Neck Conner. Concrete Conner. The best yet though, is The Terminator. Simple, yet gets the point across. Much like when he hits you so hard your ancestors feel it.
Dustin Keller - When he drops passes, like against Ray Lewis and Baltimore, I call him Helen Keller.
Santonio Holmes - Edited: Holmes-Run? Weak. All the Way? Better. Tone/Tone Time? Hell. Yes.
Plaxico Burress - I love the FAX TO PLAX calls. But I don't have any nicknames worth mentioning for him here.
Jeremy Kerley - Some people like it. Some people hate it. I love Vanilla Smooth. I wish I knew where this came from.
D'Brickashaw Ferguson - D'Brick or Brick. Either way is perfect; dude is a rock.
Nick Mangold - It's a crime that I can't find any good nicknames for him, online or otherwise.
Nick Mangold's Beard - The Jets had a vote on Twitter or Facebook or something over the summer and decided on MJOLNIR, after Thor's Hammer. Solid.
Brandon Moore - Universally called Meat. Whatever tickles your pickle.
Wayne Hunter - I could make a joke about being terrible, but he's made some good strides. How about Roller Coaster?
Vladimir Ducasse - King Ugly. How often does a guy win second and third place in the King Ugly competition? Should have won all three spots, but DB Brian Jackson was a jerk and pissed everyone off.
Muhammad Wilkerson - All I've heard so far is Wilkerbeast. As you'll see below, we need something more original.
Kenrick Ellis - The Beast. Ellis is a monster and fits this better than anyone expect perhaps Ndamukong Suh.
Ropati Pitoitua - Something related to his height. I'm thinking Jolly Green Giant?
Bart Scott - After yesterday, perhaps Bark Scott. He goes by Madbacker.
David Harris - Hitman Harris. Pretty set in stone here.
Jamaal Westerman - I have NO clue where to go with this. He's so hot and cold. He's said in interviews that everyone calls him West, but that's too similar to Westy for Mike Westhoff. We can do better.
Aaron Maybin - He goes by Mayhem after Joe Paterno misstated his name during a freshman practice. He even has a vanity plate with it on it. Rex has said that Maybin is a luxury, so I personally call him Maybach.
Jim Leonhard - White Lightning. I can't remember where I've heard this nickname before, but I don't think it fits him. He's slow as hell. Maybe just because he hits like lightning?
Antonio Cromartie - Self-styled ALCROTRAZ. I'm going to go with Katy Perry, since he's so hot 'n cold.
Kyle Wilson - I heard Isle of Kyle last year, and while he's got some work to do to get to island status, I like a nickname of his from college. Predator. I love when Jets fans scream TOOOON. I can't wait until they scream WIIIIIILSONNNN, ala Tom Hanks, when WRs get stranded on his island.
Darrelle Revis - I feel like this guy already has a nickname. Oh yeah. Revis Island.
The secondary - I personally like the No Fly Zone. They're giving up a league-low 4 TD passes. Total.
What say all of you?