After witnessing the entertaining yet divisive event known as free agency, I have created a Jets Fan's Free Agency Rule Book to help those casual observers understand just exactly what this chaos is about.
1 - Prior to free agency you will trust in the approach method of your GM. You understand that to build a team for long-term success, the team must not overpay FA players and build through the draft. You have in mind one or two key free agents that you would like to see signed at a reasonable rate, and then we can move on to the draft.
2 - At exactly 4:07pm EST, if your team has not signed the highest rated player on the market, see below:
3 - When Manish Mehta posts that the Jets have been linked to _____, that player will become the key piece to our winning the Super Bowl, and everything possible must be done to sign said player, costs be damned.
4 - When a player signs with the Jets, it is because Idzik is a #Ninja. We got a great deal with the contract because the player loves our organization and culture more than the money they could have received elsewhere.
5 - When a player signs with another team we should fire our GM. It obviously came down to just the money being offered, so how could we be so cheap with our massive cap space and not outbid the other team. Everyone knows that money is the ONLY factor a player ever considers when deciding on a team. Also, the following face is required to be made upon discovery of player signing:
6 - Exactly 1.43 hours after a player signs with a different team, we realize that we never ACTUALLY wanted that player A anyway, the other team overpaid for them and player B is who we really wanted all along and should do whatever it takes to get them even if we have to pay more than what player A received. The only exception to this rule is if Rule 3 occurs before the alloted 1.43 hour period has expired.
7 - Before free agency the Jets are closed off to the media. No one knows what happens behind those closed doors and we like it that way. No circus here!
8 - Once free agency begins. We need to know everything going on with the Jets now! Beat writers have unfettered access to everything going on at the Jets facility. If they haven't tweeted about it, it is safe to assume it most definitely isn't happening.
Please feel free to add many of the rules which I am almost certain that I have overlooked, and good luck to everyone as we fight to survive the turmoils of free agency. May the damage to the friendships we have made be minimal, and let us all pray for those we have lost to psychiatric care.