Ok ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to GGN headquarters where the staff for GGN work to bring you the best quality Jets news out there! (Or you know try to at least to be better than Manish.)
Just a few rules before we begin: no flash photography, no pictures with the staff, and also no mentioning the word coon skin cap around here. Seems that's a dividing term among these parts...
Anyway lets start off with our newest writers offices,: Rich Macleod, LittleMissNYJet, and Henry Strawder. Seems most of them are out at the office. Oh wait here they are now, looks like getting John B and David Wyatt's coffee and dry cleaning. Boy, I remember those days of being the newest staff writer: doing the bosses chores instead of having to write the dreaded post game analysis in a blowout and being forced to watch that game more than once. In exchange for that, you do some of the intern work, like they are doing. Seems they are a bit busy doing their articles so let's continue.
Let's continue moving on to my office. As you can see plenty of adult beverages and a number for a psychiatrist. You know, because my parents worry that this team will put me in a hospital. Don't mind the football diagrams scattered everywhere and playbook, that's just me preparing for another GGN chalkboard. Quick fact: they take up to four hours to create and for maximum effect must include a Simpsons reference for every picture. Like uh this cromulent picture:
Also ignore the fact that I live in Mississippi, where Brett Favre was from, total coincidence. In fact, let's ever forget Brett Favre happened. That or Mangenous. Or Sanchise. Heck, forget about the Jets. We're on a tour!
Ok on to Smackdad's office, who is currently celebrating his prediction of Geno Smith being drafted. (Nice call by the way.) Right now he is holding court in the section of GGN that sparks some of the most off topic conversations about music, clothes and food. Looks like he's about to make another edition for the townsfolk who are called Thread about Nothing'ers. Seem the townsfolk really like there cats down there. Like a lot. In fact, if you don't like cats it's borderline pitchforks and torches time for them. They also are real welcoming, provided you like cats.
Let's keep moving on. Alright folks here is the office of the man, the myth, and legend, Bro Namath. Part time writer, full time mod, and with a face that makes kids cry. Seriously check it out.
That's the face of the ban. If you look at the side of the room you can see the oversized, electrified, and "there can only be one" hammer. AKA the Banhammer. With one swing of the hammer, you take a vacation for a week and feel shame. Uh oh, looks like a spammer. Check out this action against a spammer, it looks serious.
He's also famous for stuff other than banning people, like his cult status Morning Cup of Bro, which despite it's low suggestion rate, is constantly asked to come back. Kind of like a cult tv show, it also was the first TAN, giving birth to Smackdad's domain.
Ok down the hall to one of the most hardworking men in all of our department Mr. David Vill. If you've ever read the flight connections, the man find articles out of nowhere. I mean nowhere. Somehow he fills the pages day in and out even during the days when the biggest speculation is green or white pants at home. Some say that the articles themselves just link themselves to his post, others say that the writers send him bribes trying to get on the flight connections. Either way the guy's a machine. He's busy making another so let's head down the hall to Mr. Scott Salmon's office.
"Hey group, pay no attention to the closet."
"Uh, ok, but why"
At that moment a blindfolded, handcuffed and screaming Bob Dole the Snapple Lady pops out. Scott rushes his alter ego into the closet never to be found again. The whole reason is uncertain why BDTSL is locked in there, the best speculation is that BDTSL was going to take over Gang Green Nation. Other theories say that he loved Coon Skin Caps, which infuriated Mr. Salmon, still others point the finger and Lionel Hutz. Either way, he's busy writing another batch of articles taking the NY media to task, so let's continue on.
Next, were going to have to cross this little body of water known as the Atlantic. You know the old saying about England and football right? Yeah they have the old version with scores lower than hockey, shin pads, and weird chants. (Ours is spelling for third graders). Anyway here's Mr. Wyatt, an englishman who is all about the draft. Seriously this guy mocks other mocks and did the whole saturday draft in video without a single tea break. That's downright impressive. Currently he's getting ahead to the 2018 draft, so let's leave him be and go to the man who runs the show officially, John B.
First off before we enter, let's just take some time to get some facts straight. He's got this thing on his head, it's not a live animal, it's certainly not winter, it's just well I'll let you see. More than anything, it's his style. He rocks that coonskin cap. You know lots of people rock the coonskin cap, uh like this guy:
Yeah that guy. So what it's 19th century. It's still in style somewhere in Russia, I'm guessing.
Well besides that, he spends all his time giving us this wonderful website and keeping content fresh. Now let's not bother him as he tends to get way too excited when people stare at the hat. Just share your thanks and keep going.
Don't be that person in the comments who hates on this.