The Puppy Bowl: Game Thread and Scouting Report

It's Puppy Bowl Sunday, the only sporting event that truly matters today. Get your fill here.

If you've never heard of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl, you've been missing out on the single greatest sporting event in the United States of America's long line of athletic traditions. Forget the Super Bowl, the Rose Bowl, the Masters, the Triple Crown, or even the MLS Cup. This is the modern day clash of gladiators vying for the title of America's greatest athletes.

The event takes place from 3-5pm EST on Animal Planet. As with other professional and totally legitimate sporting events, there is a referee and play-by-play announcer. Furthermore, Meep The Bird, a parrot, will live-tweet the event.

The 2013 Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet will include, of course, 35 puppies in addition to hedgehog cheerleaders, the super-slow Cute Cam, a puppy hot tub for the athletes to rest their sore muscles and a kitty halftime show.

There will also be a hamster-piloted blimp to enhance coverage of the event.

Top five prospects to watch:

Aurora_medium

  • Name: Aurora
  • Breed(s): Siberian Husky/Retriever mix
  • Sex: Female
  • Age: 10 weeks
  • Fun Fact: Loves to play, play, play and she loves toys.
  • Position: Wide Retriever

Shadowbreed_medium

  • Name: Shadow
  • Breed(s): Catahoula/Labrador Retriever mix
  • Sex: Male
  • Age: 9 weeks
  • Fun Fact: He is a really soft super snuggler.
  • Position: Defensive Tackle

Fitz_medium

  • Name: Fitz
  • Breed(s): Catahoula mix
  • Sex: Male
  • Age: 10 weeks
  • Fun Fact: Loves to pull his brother’s tail.
  • Position: Free Safety

Trinka_medium

  • Name: Trinka
  • Breed(s): Schnauzer/Beagle mix
  • Sex: Female
  • Age: 10 weeks
  • Fun Fact: Loves sleeping in hotel room beds.
  • Position: Inside Linebacker

Chestnut_medium

  • Name: Chestnut
  • Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Australian Shepherd Mix mix
  • Sex: Male
  • Age: 9 weeks
  • Fun Fact: Loves to play and snuggle.
  • Position: Quarterback

Notes:

  • According to an insider source with knowledge of the situation, it's rumored that Trinka has been experimenting with Kitty Furball Spray, an illegal performance enhancing drug banned by Animal Planet.
  • It's being reported that several of the puppies involved are from the same litter. Can you imagine, siblings on opposing teams?
  • Fitz has acknowledged that he will be retiring after the game. During his entrance, he will perform his patented "wet dog shake" dance until he is excessively dry.
  • Aurora has proclaimed that she is the "greatest puppy to ever play the game." This came as a great shock to many who consider former star Aberdeen to be the greatest of all time, as you can see here. For what it's worth, Aberdeen commented, "Put my paws up against her paws," and the superiority would be obvious.

MVP Prediction: Chestnut

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Gang Green Nation

You must be a member of Gang Green Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gang Green Nation. You should read them.

Join Gang Green Nation

You must be a member of Gang Green Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Gang Green Nation. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker