The Pro Bowl Roster Has Been Announced

OH COME ON. - Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY

I feel dumber for having to write this article.

This year, the NFL Pro Bowl will be operating a bit differently. Instead of the regular AFC/NFC teams, the NFL has chosen players from the league as a whole and will have designated captains (Deion Sanders and Jerry Rice) picking teams. Hopefully I won't be picked last, like in middle school. The roster is chosen by combining votes from the fans, players, and coaches. Here is your 2014 Pro Bowl roster:

Offense

Quarterback: Tom Brady, Patriots; Drew Brees, Saints; Peyton Manning, Broncos; Cam Newton, Panthers; Philip Rivers, Chargers; Russell Wilson, Seahawks.

Wide receiver: Antonio Brown, Steelers; Dez Bryant,Cowboys; Josh Gordon, Browns; A.J. Green, Bengals; Andre Johnson, Texans; Calvin Johnson, Lions; Brandon Marshall, Bears; Demaryius Thomas, Broncos.

Tackle: Branden Albert, Chiefs; Jason Peters, Eagles; Tyron Smith, Cowboys; Joe Staley, 49ers; Joe Thomas, Browns; Trent Williams, Redskins.

Guard: Jahri Evans, Saints; Ben Grubbs, Saints; Mike Iupati, 49ers; Logan Mankins, Patriots; Louis Vasquez, Broncos; Marshal Yanda, Ravens.

Center: Ryan Kalil, Panthers; Alex Mack, Browns; Mike Pouncey, Dolphins; Max Unger, Seahawks.

Tight end: Jordan Cameron, Browns; Vernon Davis, 49ers; Jimmy Graham, Saints; Julius Thomas, Broncos.

Running back: Jamaal Charles, Chiefs; Matt Forte, Bears; Frank Gore, 49ers; Marshawn Lynch, Seahawks; LeSean McCoy, Eagles; Adrian Peterson, Vikings.

Fullback: Marcel Reece, Raiders; Mike Tolbert, Panthers.

Defense

Defensive end: Greg Hardy, Panthers; Cameron Jordan, Saints; Robert Quinn, Rams; Cameron Wake, Dolphins; J.J. Watt, Texans; Mario Williams, Bills.

Interior lineman: Gerald McCoy, Bucs; Haloti Ngata, Ravens; Dontari Poe, Chiefs; Justin Smith, 49ers; Ndamukong Suh, Lions; Kyle Williams, Bills.

Outside linebacker: John Abraham, Cardinals; Ahmad Brooks, 49ers; Tamba Hali, Chiefs; Justin Houston, Chiefs; Robert Mathis, Colts; Terrell Suggs, Ravens.

Inside/middle linebacker: NaVorro Bowman, 49ers; Vontaze Burfict, Bengals; Luke Kuechly, Panthers; Patrick Willis, 49ers.

Cornerback: Brandon Flowers, Chiefs; Brent Grimes, Dolphins; Joe Haden, Browns; Patrick Peterson,Cardinals; Darrelle Revis, Bucs; Richard Sherman, Seahawks; Aqib Talib, Patriots; Alterraun Verner,Titans.

Free safety: Jairus Byrd, Bills; Earl Thomas, Seahawks; Eric Weddle, Chargers.

Strong safety: Eric Berry, Chiefs; Kam Chancellor, Seahawks; Troy Polamalu, Steelers.

Special Teams

Punter: Brandon Fields, Dolphins; Johnny Hekker, Rams.

Placekicker: Matt Prater, Broncos; Justin Tucker, Ravens.

Punt returner: Antonio Brown, Steelers; Dexter McCluster, Chiefs.

Special teamer: Justin Bethel, Cardinals; Matthew Slater, Patriots.

Muhammad Wilkerson, Nick Mangold, and Antonio Cromartie were selected as First, First and Second Team Alternates. Seriously. Mangold and Cromartie, who were awful this year. As @JCash222 said to me on Twitter, it's a good thing Cromartie was chosen because nobody there plays any coverage. The Pro Bowl is stupid.

Feel free to rage that Sheldon Richardson, Damon Harrison, Nick Folk, Calvin Pace, and Braylon Edwards were not chosen.

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