It has been learned that Tim Tebow has spent some time this offseason in far northern climes indulging his passion for ice fishing. It seems Tebow enjoys taking some time with a few friends strolling on a frozen lake, drilling a hole, letting down a line and catching fish. He has apparently spent nearly 6 weeks exploring the frozen northern wastelands, hiking up mountains and exploring lakes and streams. On the last day of ice fishing before Tebow had to get back to civilization and resume football training, Tebow and friends settled down for their last lunch together until next offseason. The group caught some Plesiopidae, also known as roundhead or devil fish, but these are not considered good eating so Tebow cast them out. That left them with 5 lake trout to eat. They shared a lovely lunch with their 5 caught fish, a few delicious loaves of bread, and some good wine. Tebow, who ordinarily forgoes the pleasures of alcohol in favor of good old spring water, chose this time to change his routine and enjoy a glass of wine with his buddies. As Tebow enjoyed the mellow taste of wine in his throat, he raised a decidedly dead and grilled fish to his mouth, bit into it and relished the burst of fresh fish flavor one can only get in just caught fish. Gazing across the ice, the waning winter sun glared dazzlingly across the frozen surface of the lake, momentarily blinding Tebow and his companions. Tebow thus doled out the sunglasses packed for the trip and the group of hearty travelers enjoyed their regained sight, basking in the glow of a dazzling sunset. That night, as often happens in the cold of winter, one of the intrepid group started feeling a little under the weather, and Tebow, like a true Boy Scout, was prepared. He gave his friend some cold medicine, and the friend felt much better. The next day the group of friends took one final hike up a mountain, where they quietly shared some thoughts on their shared faith. Tebow then parted with his friends and returned to civilization and the life of a professional football player.
The obvious headline from Tebow's little foray?
TEBOW WANDERS 40 DAYS IN THE WILDERNESS, WALKS ON WATER, CASTS OUT DEVILS, FEEDS THE MULTITUDES WITH ONLY 5 FISH, CHANGES WATER TO WINE AND RAISES DEAD AT LAST SUPPER. FOLLOWS UP BY RESTORING THE BLIND TO SIGHT, HEALING THE SICK, THEN DELIVERS SERMON ON THE MOUNT.