Alas, today our beloved New York football Jets began training camp to some place in New York for a period of intense football practice and platonic male bonding. As we all pour over our preseason preview guides and rage against those who dare predict that our team will suck, it has become clear that with basketball and hockey months away, the Yankees in the mid-summer position jockey that is baseball, and the Mets fading at a rate faster than Vanilla Ice's music career *grumble grumble*, football fever is ready to hit. What better way is there to start off the year then with shining up our crystal balls, pretending we know everything about football, and make some predictions about the 2012-2013 NFL season. Follow me after the jump.Lay it all out on the table, gents.
Jets final record:
How far will the Jets get (no playoffs, bye week, first round playoff loss, one playoff win, Super Bowl, etc.):
Coach of the year:
Defensive player of the year:
I'm gonna go
Jets final record: 9-7
How far will the Jets get (no playoffs, bye week, first round playoff loss, one playoff win, Super Bowl, etc.): No playoffs
AFC Champion: Houston Texans
NFC Champion: Chicago Bears!
Super Bowl: Texans
Offensive RotY: Trent Richardson
Defensive RotY: Luke Keuchly
Coach of the year: Lovie Smith
Defensive player of the year: Would love to say Revis but his game doesn't win awards, so I'll go with DeMarcus Ware
MVP: Drew Brees
EDIT: Since someone basically called out for manliness to predict the schedule, here it is. I will give schedule and reasons, but not score.
Week 1- vs. Buffalo: Win
I may actually chalk this one up as a loss if it were in Buffalo, with rabid fans and actual hope, but in MetLife, I don't believe Ryan Fitzpatrick is good enough to win. I think the defense shades against the run, tries to force Fitzpatrick and a crop of mostly medicore WRs to beat our corners. Fitz makes a play or two but they don't break 17 points. I don't think we score a ton either, but enough to win.
Week 2- @ Pittsburgh: Loss
Everyone is predicting doom for Pitt, and I don't see why. All the key components for a great D are still there, and they infused their OLine with talent and depth by adding DeCastro (who I think is going to be absolutely elite and wouldn't have minded drafting ourselves) and Adams. Plus, we absolutely suck playing in Pittsburgh.
Week 3- @ Miami: Win
LOL. Sanchez in good weather against a bad Miami team. Moving on...
Week 4- vs. San Francisco: Loss
This one is going to be an ugly game. The Niners last year were by far the best run defense in the game, beating out 2nd place Baltimore by 15 yards per game and averaging a league low 3.5 yards per carry. This one is going to be tough sledding getting it going with the run. I think this will be a game where a lot goes wrong on offense for the Jets, Sanchez gets flustered and throws multiple bad picks, and we possibly see SF score a defensive touchdown. Low scoring game.
Week 5- vs Houston: Loss
Despite having both these games favorably placed at home, I still see us getting beat in both. I know the Jets history against Houston, and I have confidence in Revis to limit Andre Johnson, but I can see Owen Daniels hitting a huge play, and that defense is just disgusting. A healthy Schaub makes the Texans that much better. Houston's zone blocking and stretch plays will likely give trouble to a linebacker corps that is slow, and I think the Texans will run successfully similarly to how the Pats did to us last year in our first matchup. Sanchez has another mediocre to poor game. Tebow catcalls commence in the face of 2-3.
Week 6- vs. Indy: Win
6 games in, I doubt Luck will have his feet sufficiently wet to become the QB I think he will become (though he might). Either way, this should be a nice rebound effort against a team that is weak in the WRs and transitioning on defense. I think the Jets score 30+ and beyond those talented TEs, dispatch of a punchless Colts offense.
Week 7- @ New England: Win
If there is any time to get New England in New England, this is it. New England will play Denver in New England, then travel across the country to play Seattle the next week, then travel back across the country to play us, before finally traveling further East to play in London. If they go 4-0 in that streak, then they are probably Super Bowl bound. Despite a defense that will be undoubtedly improved, I believe the Jets can control the clock, Sanchez can be efficient, and the defense will frustrate Brady and a hopefuly tired offensive line into a victory, similar to how we beat them in the 2010 postseason.
Week 8- vs. Miami: Win
It seems like a law to lose at least once a year to Miami, but in late October, when J-Nasty is revving himself up for candy season, the fall breeze is crisp, and we hopefully don't get some random October snowstorm like last year, Sanchez will still be playing in decent elements. And that works as a benefit to us, where a still bad Miami team has trouble keeping up with a balanced offense. Right about now, I expect Miami will be pulling the plug on the Garrard/Moore combo and preparing for the future with Tannehill. Jets are 5-3 at the break, hit the bye (that happens to be dead smack in the middle of the season) feeling warm and fuzzy. Tebow is an afterthought outside of punt protection/Wildcat/returning kicks/whatever silly crap the Jets plan on doing with him.
Week 9- Bye:
Merrily munch down on delicious food and make love to beautiful women. Regardless of your record at this point, you have earned it, gents. Football is a rough game.
Week 10- @ Seattle: Loss
I wrestled with this one for a bit. We'll be coming right off the bye with 2 weeks to prepare. Seahawks have yet to have their bye (will be after this game), thus they will be running on 9 straight weeks of football. The Jets IMO have the more talented roster. The Seahawks were desperate for pass catchers to the point that they signed Antonio Bryant, who last played football in 2009. But essentially, I came to this conclusion: I trust the Jets on the West Coast about as much as I trust my dog around my unattended steak.
Week 11- @ St. Louis: Win
Woody must be blackmailing the schedule makers. Putting the bye right before the trip to Seattle, then we don't have to come all the way East following the game but rather get to cross only 2 timezones to face a dome team. Rather than having to make NFC West trips to both Seattle and SF or Arizona, we get our other NFC West away game at St. Louis. I suspect Fisher will make the Rams better and tougher than the last couple years, but if we lose to mother f***ing Little Marty and this team, I officially give up on the year.
Week 12- vs. New England: Loss
Whoa man. I might have to splurge for tickets to this one. Thanksgiving night, in East Rutherford, with the god damn Patriots? The atmosphere better be insane for this one. Unfortunately, however, I think the Patriots will win. Their defense will undoubtedly be better, and Tom Brady always seems to figure us out in the second game. The game should be nice and chilly, ripe for a run game but also somewhat down Brady's alley. If this happens, and you are at the game, punch a Patriots or two. Right in the face. For us.
Week 13- vs. Arizona: Win
Potential trap game, if Arizona's defense is for real and Kolb plays better than last year. However, I don't think the Jets overlook this team. This is a game in which the Jets should be able to establish the run against a mediocre run D, and frustrate a Cardinals offense with a shaky trigger man. Interesting matchup here between Revis/Cro/Wilson and Fitzgerald/Floyd/Roberts. Last time Revis and Fitzgerald were on the field together, 3 Cardinal receivers had 100+ yards, Revis had 2 picks, Kurt Warner threw 57 passes, Brett Favre threw 6 touchdowns, Bubba Franks was on our roster, and Eric Smith nearly killed Anquan Boldin.
Week 14- @ Jacksonville: Win
I suspect there will be more Jets* fans (read: Tebow fans) at this game than Jags fans. The Jags actually have a very solid defense and MJD, efforts that go to waste because they get nothing from their passing game. The Jags only shot is for Gabbert to prove he's an NFL QB. I'm not one to make snap judgments based on rookie years, because plenty of QBs suck in their rookie year and to go on to great careers, but this guy was just awful. The receivers have improved with Laurent Robinson and Justin Blackmon, and Mike Thomas is still floating around, but until seeing more from Gabbert, I don't trust the Jags. Plus, you know, the fans and stuff.
Week 15- @ Tennessee: Loss
I'm actually looking forward to this game. I think the Titans are going to be a very good team. Two ground and pound squads. However, I think the edge goes to Tennessee here because they have home field advantage and more playmakers. I was a fan of Kendall Wright in the draft and as an unabashed Rutgers homer, I think a healthy and out of trouble Kenny Britt is a Pro Bowl receiver. But the real mismatches here are going to be Jared Cook and throws to Chris Johnson, who I doubt will be as poor as he was last year. At 8-6, doubt starts to creep in with the Chargers on the horizon.
Week 16- vs. San Diego: Win
In the fact of the doubt, however, the Jets take care of San Diego. The Chargers have added pieces to the defense, and it is doubtful that Rivers plays like he did last season. That said, in MetLife Stadium, in the bitter cold, the Jets grind out the victory through grit, a big play, and a lot of clock control. San Diego is looking at a tough finish, where they will face Baltimore and Cincinnati at home, then travel West to East to play in cold Pittsburgh, then travel back to the warm West to play Carolina, before coming back East to MetLife for a cold Sunday Night tilt. With the travel and the quality of opponent, not to mention that all of those opponents are pretty physical teams, I suspect the Chargers will break. The Jets hit 9-6 and travel to Buffalo for a win and you're in scenario in Buffalo...
Week 17- vs. Buffalo: Loss
...and they don't win. Call it a hunch, call it fear, call it negativity, call it whatever. I think under the weight of Tebow, the circumstances, and playing in Buffalo, with Wayne Hunter against Mario Williams... Buffalo pulls it off and plays spoiler. They do it in the bitter, snowy, freezing cold by attacking the edges with Jackson and Spiller and beating the Jets at their own ground and pound game. The Jets have something go horribly wrong on a Tebow play, like a big fumble returned for a TD. Buffalo feels good about themselves and their 8-8 season and predicts big things for the future. The Jets go off at 9-7 with a solid year, but realizing we still need to add more to the pass rush, a new right tackle, a safety, and a new #1 running back. Also, the Jets will ask internal questions about whether or not they think Sanchez, who has better but still not that great year, is the guy. The Jets lose out on a tiebreak with Tennessee due to the head to head loss 3 weeks ago.
1. New England Patriots: 13-3
2. Houston Texans: 12-4
3. Pittsburgh Steelers: 11-5
4. Denver Broncos: 9-7
5. Baltimore Ravens: 10-6
6. Tennessee Titans: 9-7
Wild Card Round:
Pitt beats Tennessee
Denver beats Baltimore
Houston beats Pitt
New England beats Denver
Houston beats New England
1. Green Bay Packers: 12-4
2. Atlanta Falcons: 11-5
3. San Francisco 49ers: 11-5
4. Dallas Cowboys: 10-6
5. Chicago Bears: 10-6
6. New Orleans Saints: 10-6
Wild Card Round:
San Francisco beats New Orleans
Chicago beats Dallas
Chicago beats Green Bay
Atlanta beats San Francisco
Chicago beats Atlanta