FanPost

A SEMI-TRUTHFUL SATIRE OF REAL JET FANS.

During one game last year I went to, there was a 5 year old behind our seats yelling Sanchez sucks repeatedly during the Bengals Thanksgiving game. He impressed me by alternating every Sanchez sucks with booing. Someone said he was a Jet Fan in training, which was quickly upgraded after the kid told Rex to stop eating snacks and start coaching. He was then promoted to a Jet fan by his row. Still in my opinion he has a bit more to go until he can call himself a true Jet fan.

After the jump, a satire on what a true Jet fan does to earn his stripes. (Obviously in jest and making light of the situation, do not take offense.)

The must have done groupings. No if ands or buts, about it.

1) Must have rooted for the Jets when they were down by more than 13 points or booed them when they were winning because they were not playing well. Real Jets fans know how to express anger, humilation, fear and loathing at the same time and voice it clearly at the organization.

(Major bonus points if you stayed/watched the whole Monday Night Miracle or the 45-3 Jets loss to NE) ( Minor bonus points if they lost the game you booed)

2) Have used the phrase Just Enough To Suck, Just End The Season, Same ole Jets, or any other JETS acronym stating the Jets do in fact suck. It shows we may be crazy, but were not delusional about how our team is. (Hey, we all have done it)

3) Have booed the team or TV at halftime or after a game just because. Real Jet fans know booing is a way of life and has been brought down by generations of Jet fans. (Bonus points if you booed the TV, because that shows you are a Jet fan and possibly suffered physiological damage from it.)

4) Must have booed at least one draft pick. Any round will do, and any reason will do. Even if you liked the pick, because Jets fans booing picks or looking horrified at the pick has been a time honored tradition.

(If you haven't you either A) don't watch the draft B) are a delusional optimist or C) never heard of Kyle Brady.)

5) Must have been been publicly outed as a Jet fan only to receive mockery from NE fans or Giants fans. Hey we have to earn our stripes somehow.

(For that I salute you for not A) distancing yourself from being a Jet fan B) took it like a champ or C) are immune to insults as most Jet fans claim to be.)

6) Have one family member or fiend who begs you to choose a different team for the benefit of your health, pets well-being, or overall physiological state of mind. Anyone who roots for a team like this will have a family or friend who worries about how many years you have taken off your life so far.

( Bonus: If it's your mom or significant other) (Double bonus: if the pets suspiciously hide during games from fear of a kick that would be good from 20 yards)

7) Know the significance of a Napkin to Jets history. (HC of NYJ)

8) Have called an entire 3 down set before the Jets take the field on offense.Difficulty: You may not say run, run pass. True Jet fans know we always do that even if were losing by 24.

(Bonus: If you call a penalty too. However, the penalty must not have been called on any of the following Jets: Mulligan, Jolley, Dbrick, Ty Law, Scott for unnecessary roughness, nor any delay of game while Shotty was at the helm. Those anyone with a brain could see coming)

9) Have demanded at least 2 coaches be fired or be tried for insanity for doing the same thing over and over and failing.

( This may seem hard, but think about it, we had Donny Henderson, Bill Sutton, Paul "run, run, screen" Hackett and Shotty in the last 10 years. That's not even counting Al Groh or Kotite.)

10) Have listened to WFAN or ESPN and turned it off because they were talking about the Jets and you were sick of hearing the bad news or hearing how dumb the front office or Woody is.

(Difficulty: Cannot be since Tebow came on board)

Not Mandatory but will also prove your worthiness as a Jets fan.

Have been to a game and suffered the elements because Metlife is a windtunnel. (If you haven't been to a game that's ok, its not like were the owner of the Jags right?)

Can name 4 players who need to be traded or released.

Knows at least one player the Jets should have never gotten rid of and the replacement that we signed who sucked.

Knows that Doug Brien can't kick from 40+ yards a week after we won because the other team played for field goals.

Remembers Chad Pennington before he had 2 arm surgeries and that even before them he still couldn't throw downfield.

Were excited when we brought in Curtis Martin, only to laugh when we signed Derrik Blaylock and a scrub from SF to replace him.

Remembers we traded Herm Edwards after he said he was going to be with the Jets.

Knows who wanted the DAMN BALL.

Has mistaken Bill Belicheck for Darth Vader.

Knows that Dan Marino has the best fake spike of all time.

Still call it the Meadowlands. Or called the old stadium Giants Stadium Meadowlands

Will remember Mo Lewis as a good player. Not as the guy who killed Bledsoe and brought the world Brady.

Blames Woody Johnson for everything. Even the Mets sucking, rain on a wedding, or Brady being good can be put on this mans shoulders.

There you go! I miss any?

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