Transcript of the Jets Sanchez Extension Press Conference
(Mike Tannenbaum introduced)
Q: Mike, why give Sanchez an extension now? He's under contract for 2 more years, why not see if he progresses before committing new money to him.
A: (Tanny, mumbling, head cocked oddly sideways, tilted down, a slight repetitive tic manifesting itself) Mark's an excellent QB, an excellent, excellent QB, Mark's an excellent QB, an excellent QB, Mark's an excellent QB....
Q: But given his somewhat slow progression, didn't it make sense to wait on this a little?
A: You have to look at the body of work, look at the body of work, body of work...Mark progressed from 32nd to 27th best QB in 3 years, 32nd to 27th, 32nd to 27th. He'll keep progressing at that rate, that rate, at that rate. In 24 years, 24 years, in 24 years he'll be top 10, Mark'll be top 10, top 10, he'll be top 10. Fly Quantas. Never had an accident, no accidents, never crashed... fly Quantas..
Q: But Mike, given the long time frame you're talking about, some would question the wisdom of this decision.
A: I'm an excellent GM, an excellent GM, I'm an excellent GM....
(Rex Ryan takes the podium)
Q: Rex, given that Tom Brady is in your division and Peyton Manning may be on the way to Miami, can you really hope to compete with Sanchez as your QB the next 5 years?
A: Look, I didn't come here to kiss Peyton Manning's ring, OK? I mean, those rings don't even fit on the toes, do they? Mark's the QB as long as I'm here, and I guarantee you we'll win multiple Super Bowls together.
Q: But given Mark's performance to date, couldn't this be a mistake? Couldn't this cripple your organization's chances for years to come?
A: Look, we don't cut and run from our mistakes. That's not who we are, OK? We make a mistake, we man up and double down, got it? We go all in – take no prisoners. If we're gonna make mistakes, they're gonna be big ones – HUGE. That's Jets football right there, and we're proud of it. Manning and Brady can kiss me where the sun don't shine, 'cause it ain't gonna be shining here for years to come.
(Mark Sanchez takes the podium)
Q: Mark, were you surprised by this move after many in the organization have openly criticized your leadership?
A: Nope, not really. I’m going to be the starting quarterback for the next few years here, and that’s exciting. It gives the team just a reminder that I’m the leader of this team. That's right baby, that's 58 million reminders, actually. Who's the Sanchise? I'm the Sanchise! I'm the freakin' $58 million Sanchise1 Remember that, Santonio... I'm the leader, baby. I'm the leader. In case you needed a reminder...
(Woody Johnson takes the podium)
I just wanted to make a brief announcement here. On this historic day when we renew our huge commitment to our wonderful leader Mark Sanchez, we are also announcing a new Monument Park to be erected in JETS Metlife Stadium. To honor those who most remind us of the Jet way, of those past leaders who most exemplify our relentless and unending commitment to organizational excellence, we announce the inaugural Jets First Class. Each year in our ever more successful drive for excellence, we will add to this class with even more First Class Jets, but today we want to christen a very special First Class. All of these very special men were high draft picks, 1st or 2nd round, to whom we gave a great financial commitment, and for which we were so richly rewarded. We can only Hope that Mark Sanchez can one day take his place beside these First Class tickets at Jets Monument Park....
At QB, from Idaho State, Ken Hobart, backed up by Browning Nagle.
At WR, from the University of Texas, Johny Lam Jones, backed up by Alex Van Dyke.
At TE, from the University of Nebraska, Johny Mitchell, backed up by Anthony Becht.
At RB, from Penn State University, the immortal Blair Thomas, backed up by Roger Vick
On the Offensive Line, at Tackle, Mike Haight. At Guard, Gordie Browne and at Center John Mooring, backed up at all three positions by Vlad DuCasse.
Next year we'll add the First Class defensive team, with such unforgettable names as Vernon Gholston, Mark Merrill and Dorian Boose.
Thank you for coming everyone, and remember, we're the same old Jets, only better! Watch us soar!
In the background, Mr. T wanders by, mumbling and twitching, “I'm an excellent GM, an excellent GM, excellent GM, I'm an excellent GM... Go Jets, Quantas Jets, fly Quantas ... never had an accident, no accidents, no Quantas accidents...
The scene fades, to the soothing sounds of Revis... rhythmically beating his head against the podium, repeating to himself “5 more years, only 5 more years.... my window will still be open, right? Right? RIGHT?....