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An ode to Mark Sanchez, 2012

Preseason

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"Look Mark, the key to not throwing interceptions is to just not throw it near anybody. Trust me."

"Well I dunno Tim... I think I'ma just do it my way. BTW, can't wait until we unleash your secret package on everyone, the defenses won't know what hit them!"

vs. the Bills

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"Man, Tim, this is easy, I bet we're going 16-0! And look, only 1 interception! PROGRESS!"

vs. the Steelers

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"We only scored 10 points but check the ball security! No fumbles today for me!"

vs. the Dolphins part 1

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"Uh, Tim, how are we going to win this one, I keep screwing up."

"Don't worry Mark, I got this. One word with my good buddy JC and we are good to go."

vs. the 49ers

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"Man, why does Tony keep dialing up these screen passes, they're so freaking hard. *sniff*... Jerk."

vs. the Texans

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"You mean you expected me to hit Cumberland in his chest?!?!?!?!?"

vs. the Colts

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"Did you see that Nick!?!? I threw a 5 yard pass accurately and we scored a touchdown!"

"I knew you could do it! You had it in you all along Mark!"

vs. the Patriots part 1

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"But 6 seconds ago Hill was wide open!!!!"

vs. the Dolphins part 2

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"Oops I did it again..."

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"Rex, I still give the team the best chance to win, right????"

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"Absolutely, Mark! I am so lucky to have you as a member of this football team."

vs. the Seahawks

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"Hmmmph. Team is hard to play against. Seattle sucks. I hate it... Pete, can I come play with you again?"

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"No thanks, Mark, I have a real quarterback. Good luck in New York though."

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"What? I thought we were best bros, Mark."

vs. the Rams

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"Hey, Rex, at least we aren't bad enough to lose to Schotty LOL!"

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"Ha, little do they know that I sabotaged their season by making sure Sanchez didn't get better under me."

vs. the Patriots part 2

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"What glute exercises have you been doing, Brandon? It's almost Kardashian-esque. Can I feel it? Oh wait, we're playing a football game. Damn it."

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"Ugh, why must I suck so much?????"

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"Look guys, Mark played very well tonight. He had a 94 QB rating. He threw the ball very well. I'm comfortable with Mark Sanchez going forward."

vs. the Cardinals

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"Uh, thanks Mark... you realize that we no longer play together, this isn't practice, and these actually count right?"

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"So this is what 'accountability' feels like? I don't like it. The bench is boring. I'd rather be throwing picks."

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"Yes! Touchdown! We win! Finally, my time to shine! I just know I'm going to get to start next week!"

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"Ha, that's what you think Greg!"

vs. the Jaguars

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"Alright guys, I've been prepping, I'm ready to go!"

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"Sit down Greg, you're inactive."

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"Sweet, starting again! Up top coach!"

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"Greatest hand-off QB in the league right here! Win streak!"

vs. the Titans

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"PLAYOFFS???? DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS! YOU KIDDING ME??? PLAYOFFS?!?!?"

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"Aw man, the fans aren't going to like this one... Vacation time???"

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"Le sigh..."

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"Trade me please..."

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