"Look Mark, the key to not throwing interceptions is to just not throw it near anybody. Trust me."
"Well I dunno Tim... I think I'ma just do it my way. BTW, can't wait until we unleash your secret package on everyone, the defenses won't know what hit them!"
vs. the Bills
"Man, Tim, this is easy, I bet we're going 16-0! And look, only 1 interception! PROGRESS!"
vs. the Steelers
"We only scored 10 points but check the ball security! No fumbles today for me!"
vs. the Dolphins part 1
"Uh, Tim, how are we going to win this one, I keep screwing up."
"Don't worry Mark, I got this. One word with my good buddy JC and we are good to go."
vs. the 49ers
"Man, why does Tony keep dialing up these screen passes, they're so freaking hard. *sniff*... Jerk."
vs. the Texans
"You mean you expected me to hit Cumberland in his chest?!?!?!?!?"
vs. the Colts
"Did you see that Nick!?!? I threw a 5 yard pass accurately and we scored a touchdown!"
"I knew you could do it! You had it in you all along Mark!"
vs. the Patriots part 1
"But 6 seconds ago Hill was wide open!!!!"
vs. the Dolphins part 2
"Oops I did it again..."
"Rex, I still give the team the best chance to win, right????"
"Absolutely, Mark! I am so lucky to have you as a member of this football team."
vs. the Seahawks
"Hmmmph. Team is hard to play against. Seattle sucks. I hate it... Pete, can I come play with you again?"
"No thanks, Mark, I have a real quarterback. Good luck in New York though."
"What? I thought we were best bros, Mark."
vs. the Rams
"Hey, Rex, at least we aren't bad enough to lose to Schotty LOL!"
"Ha, little do they know that I sabotaged their season by making sure Sanchez didn't get better under me."
vs. the Patriots part 2
"What glute exercises have you been doing, Brandon? It's almost Kardashian-esque. Can I feel it? Oh wait, we're playing a football game. Damn it."
"Ugh, why must I suck so much?????"
"Look guys, Mark played very well tonight. He had a 94 QB rating. He threw the ball very well. I'm comfortable with Mark Sanchez going forward."
vs. the Cardinals
"Uh, thanks Mark... you realize that we no longer play together, this isn't practice, and these actually count right?"
"So this is what 'accountability' feels like? I don't like it. The bench is boring. I'd rather be throwing picks."
"Yes! Touchdown! We win! Finally, my time to shine! I just know I'm going to get to start next week!"
"Ha, that's what you think Greg!"
vs. the Jaguars
"Alright guys, I've been prepping, I'm ready to go!"
"Sit down Greg, you're inactive."
"Sweet, starting again! Up top coach!"
"Greatest hand-off QB in the league right here! Win streak!"
vs. the Titans
"PLAYOFFS???? DON'T TALK ABOUT PLAYOFFS! YOU KIDDING ME??? PLAYOFFS?!?!?"
"Aw man, the fans aren't going to like this one... Vacation time???"
"Trade me please..."