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What we truly and really need to do to win in 2012 - GUARANTEED SUPER BOWLS

Here are the moves we need to make in order to have AN AWESOME DOMINANT SUPER CHAMPION TEAM next year. I will go position by position.

First, coaches. We demote Rex to defensive coordinator, and hire Jon Gruden as HC. Then we sign Norv Turner to be our OC. Keep Westy at ST, and if possible, get Tom Landry and John Madden to consult.

Ok. Qb. lots of controversy over this position. I think the answer is simple. Sanchez is traded to the Colts for Manning. Then we trade all of our 2012 and 2013 draft picks to the Packers for Aaron Rodgers. Now we have two awesome qbs who can push each other or something.

RB. Sign Matt Forte, Trade our 2014 draft picks for Adrian Peterson. Cut Powell and demote Greene to the third back. McKnight is traded to Chicago for Devin Hester, who will exclusively be used in special team situations.

WR. First, we keep Kerley. Then we trade Holmes to the Packers for Jordy Nelson. We trade all of our 2015 and 2016 draft picks to the Lions for Calvin Johnson. We sign DeSean Jackson and keep Patrick Turner as our 5th receiver. I mean, with our qb tandem, even he will be useful.

TE- Trade Dustin Keller and our 2017 draft picks to the Saints for Jimmy Graham. Keep Jeff Cumberland, if he heals up right. Cut Matthew Mulligan (like, literally. With a knife or a jagged piece of glass) then release him. Convert Josh Baker to full time TE.

O-Line. - Keep Brick, Slauson and Mangold. Trade Brandon Moore and 2018 draft picks to Denver Broncos for their RG/RT combo. Burn Wayne Hunter on a stake at the 50 yard line at halftime of 2012 season opener.

Defense time.

CB- Clone Darrelle Revis 5 times. Get rid of everybody else.

S- Trade Jim Leonhard and 2019 draft picks for Cam Chancellor. Trade Eric Smith for a can of original Pringles. Enjoy a salty snack, then sign the best FA safety available to pair with Chancellor.

ILB- Keep David Harris. Trade Bart Scott and 2020 draft picks to 49ers for Patrick Willis.


OLB- Sign Mario Williams. Make deal with satan to have Maybin develop strength without losing his speed.

DE- keep Mo Wilk. Ask very politely that the Indianapolis colts throw Freeney in on the Sanchez for Manning deal. If we ask politely, they should do it. Also, sign Vernon Gholston to ten year deal. Have entire team line up to greet him as he returns to the stadium. As he enters, void his contract and have everybody point and laugh at him.

DT- Keep current rotation, but also trade 2021, 2022 and 2023 draft picks to Detroit for Suh.

...

There you have it. A team that cannot lose. YAY SUPER BOWL

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