FanPost

Mr. Super Smarty Pants Unpredictable

I have commented extensively on this topic and apologize for my redundancy if you've already read them. But this has had me on the cusp of a violent rage since I saw it yesterday and I need to get this out of my system, fully, or I might punch somebody in the face when I'm doing my Christmas shopping later. So yesterday I had to work until about 3 and decided to catch the game at a bar (McCann's in Massapequa is awesome by the way; can't beat multi-screens and multi games simultaneously). So I'm jacked for this game and I'm getting my drink on (Blue Moons) and watching the end of the one o'clock games and am marveling at how seemingly EVERYBODY we needed to lose is losing. So needless to say, I went from jacked to JACKED and what would've been a couple of Blue Moons for the game turned into a few Blue Moons before the game. And now I am feeling the gravitational pull of a full Blue Moon and my tide is high. M-O-O-N, that spells JETS!!! So its game time and we kick it off, smack 'em for a quick 3 & out and force a punt. And I'm all like, "Hell Yeah!!! Rev up the War Machine!!!" And gosh dangit we do. Check it out (courtesy ESPN play-by-play):
New York Jets at 12:13 NYJ PHI 1st and 10 at NYJ 7 S.Greene left tackle to NYJ 9 for 2 yards (A.Jordan). 2nd and 8 at NYJ 9 S.Greene left guard to NYJ 21 for 12 yards (K.Coleman). 1st and 10 at NYJ 21 Direct snap to S.Greene. S.Greene up the middle to NYJ 27 for 6 yards (J.Chaney). 2nd and 4 at NYJ 27 S.Greene up the middle to NYJ 40 for 13 yards (N.Allen).
We start at our own 7 and give it to the War Machine four straight times for 33 yards. Dude is pounding out chunks of yards for an average of 8 yards per and we don't even sniff a 3rd down. Then guess what happens? Do we keep it going until they stop it? Of course not. Do we work in some playaction to Keller? Nope. Do we take a shot down field on first down? Negative. You know what happens. You've seen a million times before. Its time for Mr. Super Smarty Pants Unpredictable to outsmart himself. You know the thought process, right? "They think we're gonna keep giving it to Greene, because we're killing them with it. Those silly mindless peons. So you know what we're gonna do instead? We're gonna go Schott-gun and bring in Tomlinson, thats what we're gonna do. That'll really screw them up on what we're trying to do. They won't know what the heck is going on. Ha ha, and you know what else? They're gonna expect that we're gonna pass it and their defensive ends are gonna come flyin up field... And you know what? Do ya, do ya? We're gonna hit them for a screen and its gonna hit BIG!!! Hahahaha I'm a freakin genius. They're never gonna expect that. No way Jose." I saw that formation and saw Tomlinson next Sanchez and I felt sick. The Blue Moon tide was rising and threatening to breach. I knew what was going to happen next. I've seen it a million times before. Everything was going to turn to Schitt. And so it did:
1st and 10 at NYJ 40 (Shotgun) M.Sanchez pass short left to L.Tomlinson to NYJ 36 for -4 yards (C.Matthews). 2nd and 14 at NYJ 36 (Shotgun) M.Sanchez pass short right to S.Holmes to NYJ 43 for 7 yards (K.Coleman). FUMBLES (K.Coleman), RECOVERED by PHI-J.Parker at NYJ 47. J.Parker for 47 yards, TOUCHDOWN.
Game over. That right there was the game. They say football is a game of inches. They say its a game of momentum. I don't if all that is true. I guess there's some truth to that stuff. But I do know that that right there killed us. I do know that, more than anything else, confidence matters. And that play gave a struggling team, a team that shot itself in the foot at home all year long, a big shot of confidence. That team was on thin ice, waiting for it to break and to fall to their icy, watery death. That stadium was tensed and waiting to hail a storm of boos at the first sign of trouble. And here we come, straight at their most vulnerable point with a sledge-hammer. Bashing it. Bashing it. Bashing it. And bashing it again. Everyone is collectively holding their breaths, waiting for the ice to break. The crowd is ready to spit on Andy's grave and slap his mother for birthing him. And what do we do? We go shot-gun. Get dropped for negative four on an inexplicable screen. Then go shot-gun again (why, I don't know) and get stripped for a TD. Awesome. And in that one little moment, that tiny little sequence, EVERYTHING changed. Thank you Mr. Super Smarty Pants Unpredictable. Thank you for outsmarting yourself once again. Thank you for going away from what would work, what has worked against them all year, and what was actually working, in favor of being "unpredictable." Thank you for breathing life into the corpse of the Eagles and their fanbase. But most of all Mr. Super Smarty Pants Unpredictable, thank you for being you. Thank you for a couple of really good games and a swift kick in the balls. You rock.
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