FanPost

Jets > Dolphins is simple math.

Here is a little post I had on my blog, The Jersey Jets Fan. It's more of a humorous post, but the point is still the same.

 

The typical Phin fan..

So many of you readers are also members of the New York Jets fanpage on Facebook, which has the privilege of constantly being bombarded by illiterate Miami Dolphin fans. When it comes to rivalry in the NFL, I hate the Patriots, I hate the Pats fans, I hate Massholes. But you know what, I'll admit, its out of jealousy. The damn Pats tore it up last decade and Tom Brady & Co have a lot to show for it. So I'll give credit where credit is due, because if the Jets won numerous Super Bowls, I'd be the same way as those Pats fans. But these Dolphins fans, what the hell have they won? This isn't the 1970's, you don't have Dan Marino and no Chad Henne is not his second coming. These Phin's think they can brag all they want about beating us twice last season, but the funny thing is, while my boy Sanchize was dancing aroung tossing TD's and Shonn Greene was truck sticking helpless defenders left and right, Channing Crowder and Ricky Williams were smoking the reefer on their couch.

I'm going to cut my lengthy list of why the Phins have nothing to be talking about this off-season to a few solid reasons. So here you go fellas:

  1. Hey Chad Henne, REMEMBER APPALACHIAN STATE: What a day, what a day. I might make the road trip down to Miami this year with an App State shirt on, because I know when Henne sees me in the stands, he'll get butterflies in his little tummy and never be the same again. No Dan Marino would ever lose to Appalachian State, even though they are the class of the FCS. Brooks Bollinger could have been out there with Michigan and ran train on App State. Henne is nothing special in the least bit, and will never be.
  2. Brandon Marshall, welcome to Revis Island: Contract dispute and all, Darrelle Revis will shut Brandon Marshall down. Gimme all the horse shit you want about Ted Ginn smoking Revis, Ginn isn't on the team anymore and Marshall ain't that fast. Ask Ocho-NATA, Randy Moss, Andre Johnson and more what they think about Revis Island. The weather is always nice, but Revis is gunna be all over you like white on rice.
  3. The Wildcat has nothing on Brad Smith: You heard me correctly. The Wildcat is old news boys. There's a new sheriff in town, who happens to be the best pass/run threat in the NFL since Mike Vick founded Bad Newz Kennels. Brad Smith cannot only only run the option better then anyone in the league, but he is a legitimate passer, not just Ronnie Brown throwing wobblers like a duck shot in mid-air. Prepare for a new age in gadget plays that will leave opposing defenses with their pants around their ankles.
  4. Get some REAL fans why don't ya: I get it Miami, you have to have Mark Anthony and J.Lo in the luxury boxes to make some noise at your games. It's tough to sell out that grimy old stadium. Maybe you can get Ricky Martin to sing at half-time at the season opener, that will pack the house. Nothing like a Miami Dolphins game with you and 80,000 other fans wearing creme colored pants and Tommy Bahama shirts, just Livin' da Vida Loca all game long.
  5. Lastly, YOU DIDNT EVEN MAKE THE PLAYOFFS: C'mon Dolphin's fans, I know you want to say it. "We beat you twice last year!". Well whoooop-deeeee DOOOOOO. As a said before, we were making moves in the playoffs, gaining experience and doing work while your team was soaking up the sun in South Beach. You really have nothing to brag about last season and your moves this off-season aren't even close to the Jets. When it comes down to it Mark Sanchez has played in two huge playoffs games, whereas your savior Chad Henne hasn't played in an NFL game worth a damn.

Overall, Jets fans you have nothing to worry about this season. The Dolphin's Fans continue to argue illogical points founded on stupidity and lack of standard education. J-E-T-S Jets Jets

Hey Henne, PEOPLE DON'T FORGET.

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