I have an idea for an endorsement opportunity of a lifetime for Antonio Cromartie. A three for onechances like this just don't come along every day.
LT is outside on the block playing football, when it starts to get dark out. His mom opens the window from their apartment and yells…. “Ladianian! Your Chunky soup is ready! Time for dinner! And find Antonio too!”
Cuts to Cromartie and LT enjoying some delicious Chunky soup.
LT: Man Antonio, I sure love my Chunky.
Cromartie: Same here LT, this just fills me up, I feel strong enough to do anything after I have me some Chunky.
LT: So what are you doin tonight, down for some Madden?
Cromartie: Uhh… I got plans tonight L, maybe tomorrow?
LT: Cool, what are you up to?
Cuts to Walt Clyde Frazier, lying in his boxers on a bed, while 4 gorgeous women in their underwear start to climb on top of him.
Clyde: Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaa, shrewd, clever, slick, hahaaaaaaaaaaa. But I’m not really Clyde at all!
*Clyde removes his face, which is actually a mask, underneath is Antonio Cromartie, wearing his glasses, looking extra Boys 2 Menish, holding a bar of old spice roll on deodorant.
Cromartie: Look at your man, now me, now back at your man, now back at me, he isn’t me, ladies and gentleman, but he could smell like me, with Old Spice body wash and deodorant.
* Lights go out, Boys 2 Men track comes on out of nowhere, Cromarties glasses knocked askew by one of the women, Cromartie throws the old spice over his shoulder, and pulls out a box of Trojans
Cromartie: Look at me ladies, I can still fornicate like a goddamn bunny rabbit, without all the messy side effects! The Antonio Cromartie approved, ultra thin, baby proof, Trojan Condom. That’s the trifecta ladies and gentleman, Chunky’s, Old Spice, and the AC ultra thin lubed trojan condom. It’s all you need to party like Cromartie!
*boys 2 men comes back on, Cromartie disappears underneath the covers with all 4 women, lights turn all the way off.
(shout out to crackback for the party like cromartie line)