This is the result of careful analisys and the study of teams activities. After a very long and arduos thinking time of about thirteen minutes I have come this conclusion for the draft.
#1-Jacksoville picks Tim Tebow:
Fearing that someone would take "the greatest talent ever" the Jaguars trade for the first pick to take Tebow. The GM is quoted as saying: "Our only interest is in making money and drafting Tim will make us billions even if we dont win a single game"
#2-Detroit picks Dez bryant:
The Lions want to give the stud QB a new toy to play with. They believe that with this pick they finally have all the pieces to make a deep playoff run.
#3-Tampa loses pick:
With all that talent on the board the Bucks cant decide on whom to take. They figure that any of them would probably cost more than $7.75 an hour, not a price they are willing to go beyond.
#4-Washington picks Eric Berry:
The Redskins want shore up an aging and depleted defense with the arguably the smartest player in the draft.
#5-Kansas City picks Ndamukong Suh:
Interestinly enough two picks in a row that dont suck.
#6-Seattle picks Jimmy Clausen:
The Seahawks say "Why not?" with this pick. They aren't going anywhere, they'll have another top ten pick next year to help with the defense. Plus one more first round this year.
#7-Cleveland picks Tim Robbins:
Maybe with this guy the browns can finally pulled it together. But Mangini has already sent him to rookie labor camp.
#8-Oakland picks Felix Loch:
After watching the winter Olympics Davis is amazed by the speed of the Luge men's single winner. Al Davis said " Man he was like whoosh, like a bullet man, imagine what he'll do to defenses in the NFL."
#9-Buffalo picks Tony Dungy:
They need a coach above all, here they got one of the best.
#10-Denver picks Simon Cowell:
McDaniels wants a real challenge in the locker room. He feels that he did not have good enough fights.
#11-St. Louis picks Los Angeles Coliseum:
#12-Miamy picks Gerald Mckoy:
Parcells is no fool, unfortunately. Damn them.
#13-San Frncisco picks Sam Bradford:
"We have another pick, whatever, whatever, we do what we want"
#14-Seattle picks Jahvid Best:
What!?They still have next year.
#15-New York Giants pick Brandom Graham:
Perfect fit for the Giants, monster talent, bad attitude.
#16-San Francisco picks Golden Tate:
They now beleive that they have both a new Montana and a new Rice. How far have the mighty fallen.
#17-Tennesee Picks Russell Okung:
Give Johnson more space to run = more yards. Whee say the executives.
#18-Pittsburg pick Bruce Cambell:
When they get home and unwrap their new toy they find out that it was the aging actor in the box. Oh well, he can dance, I think.
#19-Atlanta picks the AKC:
Fearing some sort of curse caused by the Vick thing, the Hawks buy out The American Kernel Assosiation. Feeding puppies will surely get them out of theyr funk.
#20-Houston picks Joe Haden:
We gotta stop Manning! We really, really do.
#21-Cincinnati picks David Berkowitz:
Not having enough problems off the field the Bengals assure a public backlash with The son of Sam.
#22-New Englang picks Derrick Morgan:
As always a good pick that fits their scheme. The defense thankfully needs all the help it can get. Hope the Jets can just destroy them.
#23-Green Bay picks a concrete wall and a tripod:
In an unprecedented event the Packers take two with one pick. A wall to stop the rush and a tripod to keep Rogers upright. It all backfires when Aaron keeps falling anyway.
#24-Chicago picks A football throwing machine:
The Eagles follow they tradition by trading out of the first round. The Bears are tired of spending millions on people to throw Interceptions so like the rest of America they start to raplace their workforce with machines.
#25-Baltimore picks Arrelius Benn:
They want to beat Indy at their own game, Benn provides a deep threat.
#26-Arizona picks Tony Pike:
Kurt Warner clone, Strong armed and effective. Leinart can continue partying.
#27-Dallas picks The US Army:
Jones is really tired of losing, now he can just do what he always wanted to do: kill everybody. "Its like Christmass all over" He says.
#28-San Diego picks CJ Spiller:
Best running back in the draft falls to them, he comes with a Initials nickname that the Chargers love.
#29- New York Jets pick ______:
I am leaving that one empty, because if I say something I am going to be burned alive.
#30-Minnesota picks Brett Favre:
You knew that one was coming.
#31-Indianapolis picks Tony Corrente:
The Colts Take the AFC Champioship referee to help them beat up QBs during the regular season. Caldwell figures that if he had been in the super bowl Brees could have been hit relentsly without repercution. (This is a reference to the non-calls of the game where there where at least three misscalls that could have changed the game)
#32-New Orleans pick Lola:
In a historic moment the Saints forget that Mardi Gras is over and pick what could be the first female ever. No one really knows what Lola is, it wont allow a physical.
#33-Oakland picks Mahogany desk:
Just for fun Goodell alots a complimentary first round pick to the Raiders. With it Al Davis takes a nice desk to put in his new office as major of WackyLand. Next stop: King Of The Moon!
By the way this is a Joke. You know a stupid post for no reason at all.